…that has been on my mind for several months. Please bear with me. And remember: this question is HYPOTHETICAL.
IF you were participating in a Commencement ceremony and you had graduated months before, and IF you were wearing your cap and gown sitting in a row full of graduates, and IF you were called up on stage and you shook the hand of the president of the school and several other notable figures, and IF you then received a diploma book with a shiny purple cover that said Emerson College on the front, should that book be EMPTY?
EXHIBIT A
EXHIBIT B!
Some would say yes, that the emptiness would be resolved when you went offstage and some bespectacled school employee handed you a diploma which you, after years of college tuition, would have to insert into this diploma book BY YOURSELF.
BUT here’s another riddle for you…
What IF you walked offstage and some woman was like, “Oh, when did you graduate?” and you were like “December” and they were like “Go sit down,” and you NEVER RECEIVED AN OFFICIAL DIPLOMA??? What IF you were mailed a giant, cardboard diploma to frame and put in your office next to family photos and many leather-bound books, but the shiny diploma holder you received on that momentous occasion still to this day sits EMPTY? What IF, to this day, the emptiness was never resolved? Should you contact your school and mention to them that you have an empty diploma holder laying around, possibly informing them that you never received a diploma they may have sent? WHAT DO YOU DO? IS THIS NORMAL?
AMERICA DECORATIONS!!!
Also: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY. I have chosen to blend in with my fellow Americans by sleeping ‘til noon, eating ice cream for breakfast, and WEARING SWEATPANTS. You may not understand this in Boston but trust me – I am currently feeling a DEEP CONNECTION to the Midwest.
I say demand a refund. No diploma, no payment. And don’t let them give you that refund in pens. Get the benjamins